Happy Birthday you scumbag

Hey praveen,
I tried calling but for some reason your phone is off. I didn't feel like writing to your office address, so thought I'd post here. Hope you had a really nice birthday. I was still thinking about that time back in school when I told everyone that it was your b'day. For all of you that don't know, both me and On_trial were not too popular in school because of the way we'd talk. The teachers regarded me as an errant child who just needed some coaxing to be put on the right path, and Praveen, they really didn't know what to make of. At any rate, the students didn't think that highly of us either, mainly because of how we'd run our mouths... and when I told them all it was his birthday, they gave him 'birthday bumps', which is basically holding a person's arms and legs and swinging him up and down as many times as his age, so after 18 times they just dropped him and he landed in the sand. Then they kicked him, in the ribs, and in the chest, and well i'll say this much in his favour. I've never actually seen anyone 'roll with the punches', but that was what he was doing, it could also have to do with the fact that at that time he was fat, and so any movement highter and thither would look like a blob of jelly sliding/rolling around by transferring mass in various directions, while moaning softly saying "oho oho oho".
It was fun to watch, and everytime March 19th swings by i think of that and giggle to myself.
Anyways, I hope you got a lot of gifts and such. I'd like to remind you that you are one lucky piece of shit to be spending your birthday with a family that's pretty much your 2nd family anyways. You know what i mean. Most of us don't have that luxury, and I won't whine about that, but I do hope that you value that whenever you go on your bitching trips. I'd also like to think that your day didn't go as badly as our birthdays used to turn out back in the day. I just realized I've known you for a little over 7 years. Man, it's been long. Too long, and you are still the same piece of shit you were when you said, "Oh, in Singapore, sex is a community thing is it??"
Anyways, I've run out of things to say, so I'll just say this Tamil movie style : "yengai irundhaalum vazhga"
If you can't figure out what it means, you ought to be ashamed. Your mom would know what it means though, so ask her.